Duchess Snazzypants

almond-goddess:

Nap by ~almond-goddess

OMG this is the most adorable thing ever.

(via fyeahsherlockandjohn)

wordplaying:

regala-electra:

olmes:

if you ever wondered why i decided to track the elementary tag

this is it

oh my god.

That is pretty goddamn magical.

Hahahahahaha.

ivyblossom:

So birds all start chirping at dawn to remind other birds that they have a specific territory, and other birds should step off. I get that, but I can’t help by be sort of amazed at how the night resets the world for them. Every battle has to be underscored every morning. Their hold on success is so transient.

But what if it’s not that? What if the sun goes down and every evening they think it’s the end of the universe? And then it rises again and they all just lose their shit with surprise and joy? Every morning is the most extreme celebration! And they never get cynical about it.

Birds appear to lack a sense of weary resentment. They are completely unironic. There are no bird hipsters.

Sunrise? Meh. Seen those before. It’s getting a bit popular now, don’t you think? I’ve gotten into street lamps lately. You’ve probably never heard of them.

So basically the inspiration for Arthur Shappey’s character came from birds…

reasoningwithvampires:

tatersthezebra:

Some of these nit picking things are hilarious but this one IS stupid. I mean obviously the commenter has never been severely pissed off before. When you’re in rage, it takes everything you have not to fight when every part of you wants to. Why not comment on the fact that she’s using a modifier or the sentence itself DRAGS ON into infinity? Or hey, what about the author using passive language with empty words like “were” and “had been” so close together?

Nope, its way more important to comment on how rage effects Edward and why you think it’s wrong. And regarding Bella not breathing, I guess the commenter has never been stressed either. When you’re in an “intense” moment, sometimes you forget to breathe! *legasp*.  

If you’re going to crit. Crit on something that makes some freaking sense. Believe me, I’m not trying to defend the author, but I also think this is a clear case of “Let’s make fun of twilight so I can sound cool and get likes and stuff”. *Massive eyeroll* Do your research on anxiety and anger dumbo.

(1) Given the deeply autobiographical nature of the six sentences in my original post, I understand why you thought you knew enough about my emotional history to make sweeping generalizations. As it turns out, I am acquainted with being “severely pissed off.” Unlike you, however, I don’t struggle with how to conduct myself when I’m angry. My rage is locked and loaded. 

(2) Modifiers do not need to be cauterized. No reader is going to be confused later on and wonder how Edward could perform a cuspid c-section while still gripping a steering wheel. I take no issue with the perpetuity of the modifier.

(3) In the sentence, “Edward had been relaxed and joking…” the relaxation and joking are in the past for Bella. Since she was already narrating in past tense, she used the past perfect tense to indicate the action was completed further back in time than the current scene. I have no complaints with that.

(4) I think your indignation is clouding your reading comprehension. I do not think it is important to comment on how rage “effects” [sic] Edward, which is why I didn’t. The original post is commenting on the limitations of first-person narration. I believe Bella could see Edward’s knuckles straining, but I do not believe Bella could determine the goal of strained knuckles with eyesight as her only diagnostic tool.

(5) Speaking of Bella’s shortcomings, she is frequently oblivious to her body and her surroundings. Notice how Bella is the only one mentioned in the original post. I do not have a problem with every overwhelmed person; I have a problem with Bella.

(6) You should be more careful when you leap to conclusions, because you’re one wild jump from going straight off a cliff. I didn’t make the post to sound cool. I made the post because I have a problem with Meyer’s storytelling. The fact that I sound cool while doing it, that’s just icing.

(7) One last thing: I’m familiar with “anxiety” but what is “anger dumbo”?

TL;DR — I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.

EDIT TO ADD: IF YOU COULD SEE ME SITTING HERE, YOU COULD SEE I’M ANNOYED, BUT YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TELL I’M HOLDING IN A SCREAM OF FRUSTRATION.

It makes me sad to think that criticizers will probably never fully appreciate the genius and subtle snark in these replies.

chazesiwile:

Me, every time I have to type in one of these stupid things. 

YES! Captcha is so fucking annoying and indecipherable these days.

wordplaying:

Click the link to read about it.

Killer spot; like so many, I’ve been tucking my phone here for years, only directly against the skin. I support this kind of problem-solving. 

I take issue with this design! The phone is directly under the place I sweat the most! That thing would be dead from moisture damage in less than a month. No, the cups are definitely where you store large electronics.

Hahahahahahahaha. Weasleys in glass houses don’t throw philosopher’s stones.